sage: french word meaning wise and calm

I'd like to start this post by saying no, we aren't pregnant. Hate to start any rumors so we'll just nip that in the bud. However, one of these days we hope to have kiddos so it's hard not to pay attention to the many books, ideas, philosophies and opinions out there regarding having a baby/raising kids. And man, there sure are a lot!

I'm one that truly believes "to each his own." There are so many different opinions to parenting and child rearing but honestly, every kid is different and so is every couple. This means there are a multitude of right ways to raise a kid - some more routine-based, some more flexible, etc.

On a recent vacation I stumbled onto a book that resonated with me. It wasn't a book outlining a specific philosophy. It didn't tell the reader a routine to follow or reasons why it's better to remain flexible according to what the baby wants. Nope. Instead it was about "one American mother discovering the wisdom of French parenting."

 

Bringing Up Bebe is funny, smart and engaging. It's storytelling format pulls you in and describes a French "society of good little sleepers, gourmet eaters, and relaxed parents." In Paris, there aren't a bunch of different parenting philosophies like you find here in America. Instead, raising a child is more like a way of life. For the most part, everyone really does it the same. Interesting, right?!

I've really enjoyed a peek inside French parenting but there are three things in particular that stood out to me while reading this book:

1) Delayed gratification is an essential part of bringing up a child in Paris. Even though cakes and sweet breads are made in the morning, the child is not allowed to eat them until the afternoon gouter (afternoon snack). That is only a small example but delayed gratification is part of most decisions a Parisian parent makes in order to help their child grow in maturity and self restraint. It also keeps the parents sane! 

2) Just because the child is small does not mean they cannot take on great responsibility (within reason of course). The book talks about a 3-year old little girl that makes yogurt cake with very little help. This is shocking to me! How many 3-year olds do you know that have made a cake? How many parents of 3-year olds do you know that would allow their kiddo to make a cake? I like the idea of trusting them with responsibility at a young age. Again, it grows them in maturity and confidence.

3) Cadre means frame or framework. The book describes cadre as, "a visual image that describes the French parenting idea: setting firm limits for children, but giving them tremendous freedom within those limits." Again, this allows the child to make some decisions for themselves, but all within the framework that the parent has allowed. The parent is still boss, but the child can discover, explore and make decisions within boundaries.

Now, I realize I have no kids and my thoughts on the above points may change. However, I like these ideas and what they mean for the growing of a little one and the teaching it requires of a parent. But like every book there are parts of Bringing Up Bebe that would not be right for me to practice. Overall though, I would recommend the book as a great read that might make you consider some French ideas. Enjoy!